Girl, wear that bikini! Plus-size woman’s advice on wearing a bikini
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Growing up I heard a lot of comments about plus-size women who wore bikinis. Whether it was at a beach, a local swimming pool, or a water park, the comments were always floating around when swimwear was in the picture.
“Big girls shouldn’t wear a bikini”
“More power to her”
“She does not have a body for a bikini”
And to be honest as a plus-size teenager, this really hit my confidence hard.
But it wasn’t always this way!
Let me give you a taste of my fashion sense as a kid
5th Grade
For my 5th-grade class picture, my mom went out and bought me this great outfit with an embroidered vest (hello 90’s kid!) of teddy bears. I don’t really remember what happened between the time my mom left for work and the time I walked to school with my older brother, but I ditched the outfit we had picked out together & opted for biker shorts & a ragged t-shirt with a bear on it. I mean at least I had the same idea of teddy bears right?
I remember when I walked into class that day someone said “is that what you are wearing for picture day?” I replied yes because out of all the things my mom bought me for that day, I was proud of my SHOES! The one thing that was not in any way going to show up in my class picture. Oh, 8-year-old Melissa!
But somehow the conversation turned into this classmate saying “well it’s my class picture too & I have to look at you in that outfit forever”.
That stung, really hard because I was so damn proud of those shoes! And yes I’m laughing at this memory now, but I think this was one of the first burns to my confidence that I can remember. Granted some 20 years later, I think I’ve seen this picture maybe 10 times since that fateful day. So unless her parents had a wall of classroom pictures for their kids, then I seriously doubt that she was looking at it forever.
1st Grade
This wasn’t entirely out of my character though. When I was a little kid I absolutely loved my bikini so much so that my own personal fashion sense involved wearing a bikini top to a father-daughter dance around the age of 6.
There I was with my bowl cut (I decided to cut my own hair at some point… oops) dancing with my dad in a windbreaker, bikini top, and biker shorts among the little girls in dresses. I think this was the beginning of part 1 of hating dresses. Oddly my dad wasn’t embarrassed and he embraced the uniqueness that was me.
However, I can still hear my mother being scolded by all the other moms for letting me out of the house like that. Sorry, mom!
Fast forward to the puberty years… oh boy, those were rough!
10th Grade
Between being plus size and having acne at the age of 10, I was a fast crumbling ball of confidence. Around this same time, I faded out of bikinis and bathing suits altogether. I learned to become ashamed of myself. Hiding under baggy cartoon t-shirts I got at the local Walmart, my whole goal was to disappear. And I think to some degree, I did!
So when my parents decided to take me on a beach trip around my 15th birthday I had no clue what to do. I felt most comfortable in baggy clothes and that was the complete opposite of a swimsuit!
This is when the conversation of a swim dress came up.
Looking at those pictures it was like I was 40 in a 15-year-old’s body. I have so many questions on how this was ok, but I digress to 2018.
By now I had become used to Speedo’s as swimming became my main exercise after a bad accident with a tankini for the beaches. Ultimately I was “covered up” in all the areas others didn’t want to see. But in 2018, at the age of 31, I found myself faced with a dilemma.
I was about to travel with the man I loved (Peter) & my Speedo’s did not make me feel sexy or confident around him.
So on a whim, I purchased my first bikini in 25+ years.
Do you know what happened? I had so much confidence, that by the time we left for Jamaica I had two bikini’s in my suitcase!
And each year I have added about 2-3 new bikinis to my collection.
What I learned from that first bikini purchase
Whether you have a brown potato sack on or a bikini, someone will always have something negative to say. This speaks more about them than it does you.
There are women of all shapes and sizes rocking bikini’s and sometimes it’s the plus-size women who can be the meanest and nicest. With things like girl boss tribes you can find so much support online, but when we step out into the real world it’s every woman for themselves.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the travel groups that fully support us, but man I wish some of you ladies were sitting on the beach next to me some days to brighten up my spirits.
Lastly, find something that makes you feel comfortable. Swimwear is weird, it clings to places most clothes don’t and can be restrictive in others. Feeling comfortable will bring out confidence so always aim for comfort first!
How to find comfort in a swimsuit?
This one can be tricky. I remember shopping with my best friend years ago when she was looking for a new bikini for her family beach trip. She tried on like 10 bikini’s and I honestly didn’t understand mostly because I had not been at this point in my life.
But when I started wearing bikini’s I realized, it wasn’t about how she looked per se, but how it made her feel. The ones she felt comfortable in made her feel confident and sexy.
This doesn’t apply only to bikinis because I found over the years as I started swimming regularly that I felt the same with my Speedo’s and one-pieces. And even to this day when getting ready for the beach, I find myself looking to find the bathing suit or bikini that makes me feel comfortable based on that exact day.
So yes, I still wear one-pieces, especially when I want to go boogie boarding, but I also love wearing a bikini. Each day is different!
Final thoughts
I use to hate the idea of wearing a bathing suit thanks to those teenage years of crushing inner thoughts of not being good enough. Words can hurt even if they aren’t directed at you. But finding bikinis and swimsuits that make me feel comfortable, allows me to gain confidence in my day of water fun.
Don’t feel pressured to wear something just because everyone else is. If you want to wear a swim dress, go for it! If you want to wear a bikini, go for it! Be yourself, because at the end of the day those naysayers don’t go home with you!
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